A Lesson In Failure

This is hard for me to share. I am stubborn, and a perfectionist. I hold myself to a standard that I would never expect of others [except for maybe Mike - I am so sorry, Mike]. So here it goes, in one sentence: I took the motorcycle training class and I failed the driving test on my first try.

I was doing well, albeit very nervous, all weekend. As the coach called it I was "hot in the helmet". I passed the written exam without any problems. I spent most of day two freaking out internally about the driving test, so my confidence was pretty much nil. But, I was still doing okay and improving. When the test came around there are a bunch of things that can cause you get points added to your score. Scoring is like golf, you want a low number and anything under 21 is a pass. But, the one overall rule is if you drop the bike during the test it is an automatic fail. When I heard that, I couldn't mentally overcome it. I just kept thinking about dropping and failing. Sure enough, on the third portion of the test I wrecked. I went into a stop too quickly, my foot missed the rear brake petal and I did not have the ability to pull myself out of a slide. So with my ego completely destroyed and my eyes full of embarrassment tears I walked away - failed.

I vowed at this point that I could never get back on the bike, and I wasn't going to try to test again. I wasn't driving bad, but I was humiliated and I could not imagine going at it again. I chatted with the coach and he gave me some options for retesting which I heard, but did not really listen to.

I tried to be supportive and congratulatory towards Mike. Seriously, he did it and that is absolutely awesome!!! He was great on the motorcycle, he learned quickly and was confident. The one good thing about failing mid-way through was that I was able to watch him be successful...But, I would be lying if I wasn't also throwing myself a pity party.

The next morning, after several beers the night before, I was ready to face the music. Is it more embarrassing to fail and give up or fail, learn, and try again? I think the answer is obvious. It was time to "get back on the hog". [Thanks for the quote Matt]. I called and scheduled the retest. With a stomach full of butterflies, sweaty, shaking hands, and my mind full of positive affirmations, I got back on that damn motorcycle. I retested. There isn't anything special to share about the retest. I did it, it's done, and I passed (with a score of 8).

I am still nursing my physical bruises, and my ego is still a bit deflated. But I did it, and I learned that failing isn't an end point it is a starting point.

"Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo"

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